Just like with any pregnancy, as that date approaches you get excited, nervous, and then as it comes and goes...
Jason and I will never be "ready" for this, but we are ready to meet our sweet girl. I never thought I would be so excited to meet her. At this point (four days overdue) it completely overshadows my fear and most likely, our sorrow.
We had discussed inducing on Wednesday. We have people here and everyone is just waiting for Lily. Anxiousness doesn't even come close to describe it. And as many know, babies don't seem to come on their own when you are anxious and stressed.
On Tuesday I had been having contractions all day, so we were hopeful we either wouldn't need to be induced or I would have progressed enough for it to be successful. I woke up Wednesday morning with no contractions. :( Jason and went for a walk and I just broke down. The stress and anxiety of everyone "watching" was just too much. And to top it all off, I just wanted to hold Lily. I want to give her a million kisses and soak up all the snuggles.
Jason and I stopped, sat down and I wept. Once again, I didn't think I had it in me to cry like that anymore.
But my husband...I can't even tell you how much my love for him grew in this moment. He reminded me of what mattered most. It's not the people watching and waiting. It's Lily. It's our family.
We want to meet her more than anything, but we also want her to come to us in God's perfect time. We want to know that everything happens as it is meant to and when we put our full trust in God, we know we will have no regrets.
We went to Mass after we decided not to induce. We prayed a rosary before a statue of St. Therese and we surrendered our family into our Father's hands.
We have complete faith and trust that we will meet Lily in God's perfect time and it will be perfect.
Thank you so much for your continued love and prayers. We know with absolute certainty we could not do this without the love, prayers, and support of our family, friends, and even those we have never met.